Clarity for a Day

Can you believe that I've already received my federal tax return? Is that anal (or desperate) filing online (free through H&R Block and lots of other companies if you make under $50,000–I might possibly be the only NYC'er who qualifies, maybe that's why I'd never heard of anyone I know doing this. Actually, it's probably because my taxes are boringly straightforward while lots of people I know are freelancers and/or all about itemizing and accounting tricks) the day I got my W2. I always do taxes asap to see what I'm up against. I only got $119 from the federal government, no whoop but welcome. However, I do owe a substantial amount (for me) to NY state, which let's just say I'll think on for a while–a long while. Maybe by 2010 I'll be ready when they come after me.

It didn't seem so last month, but now I'm starting to think that 2006 is going to be major. I've been waiting for something to give for an eternity, then yesterday I experienced an unexpected catalyst (which I'm not discussing for the time being). Why not do something totally different with myself? It seems like such an obvious choice. This morning I woke up early, full of ideas and bizarre clarity that I haven't felt in probably a decade. I never naturally wake up at 8:30am on a Saturday (a cat jumping repeatedly on my head might've also had something to do with it). So, I think I'll be making some changes in some small important ways (as well as a few totally insignificant ways). It's weird how I view my stupid website as some extension of my thought patterns. I hate things being disorganized, static and jumbled in my life, despite often feeling that I have little control over it. And the same goes for all this web nonsense that I've been weaving for quite some time. I loathe convoluted messes, so if I'm going to revamp my future I need to overhaul what's here too. Not that anyone gives a rat's ass but me. I guess that's the point. So, I hope to find the time (with this new job and a new writing assignment hovering over me, free time is frighteningly scarce) in the near future to implement my new plan of attack.

Tomorrow I'll likely wake up dulled and aimless as ever, so today I need to take advantage of this possibly brief burst of vigor and enthusiasm. More details to come…

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