Back in Black (no thanks to The Gap or Audrey Hepburn)

Nails_1 Let me point out (last week I honest to goodness said, “let me get…” when ordering a margarita. I have no idea how that horrible NYC-ism crept into my vocabulary. When I start swapping ax for ask, feel free to take said sharp tool to my tongue) that it was Tuesday evening that I used Wet N Wild’s Blackest Green 495A on my nails. I’m making this distinction so if anyone sees me (which is totally unlikely since I never see anyone) in the near future they’ll understand that I wasn’t unduly influenced by today’s NY Times article about the new chic-ness of black nail polish. Of course, they fixate on Chanel’s pricey Black Satin (I bet Wet N Wild Black Diamonds 357A would be a thrifty substitute) and deep reds and silver flecks, not swampy dollar store shades, but that black-green is truly awesome and even weirder is that I’ve had it for at least five years and it has yet to turn gummy on me. That’s quite a feat for less than a buck and a half.

I didn’t realize the dark nail thing was such a trend. I shied away from deep shades until maybe 2000 because of that Chanel Vamp mania in the mid-‘90s (I wore the Revlon knock-off, Vixen). I did notice the woman who sits next to me at work wearing black polish a few weeks ago but didn’t give it much thought as she’s all wicca/pagan/crystal-loving/spell-casting, not a fashionista. And yesterday I talked to an editor I write for (I did a Gloria Estefan phone interview this morning, which is beyond bizarre if I think about it. Even more bizarre since she’s promoting a children’s book about her dog and I have no idea what to say about it, which is why I’m writing about personal minutiae here instead. That vaguely reminds me—does anyone subscribe to Cosmopolitan, Country Living, Good Housekeeping, Harper’s BAZAAR, House Beautiful, Marie Claire, O, Redbook, Seventeen or Shop, Etc.? I ask because I get my monthly unasked for Budget Living replacement, Good Housekeeping, and today it came with a Latina-geared supplement Tu Vida, and I was like are they targeting me by my last name or did everyone who gets home delivery of those magazines get this extra publication?) and she had on black nail polish and commented on mine. I guess I shouldn’t be so surprised to see two humans at work sporting dark nails–if I’m to believe the Times, even canines are getting into the act.

I was kind of scoffing at the notion that you couldn’t wear dark polish in the office, fuck that corporate crap. Then my phone rang for a job interview (I’m about applying for jobs the way some people are about dating, playing the field, keeping my options open, never settling down. There’s definitely more thrill in the chase than in the day-to-day. There’s a rush from getting called for an interview, even if it’s a job I don’t really want, not that I don’t want this particular one. I won’t know what I think of it until next week) and I was oh, hell, the green must go by Tuesday. Interviews are all about standing out with your qualifications, not your appearance and that totally sucks.

Yesterday, I had a major epiphany. I’ve been waiting for the urge to hit for years and up until now no pangs had stirred me into action. It’s a big life decision but I think I need to get a cell phone. Just typing that makes me feel kind of sick, not relieved at all. I don’t want to be a cell phone person. And honestly, at this point in time I don’t know that I can afford to be a cell phone person. But on a practical level, it’s becoming a near-necessity.

No one has direct lines at work, the library just has one general number so it’s a pain to receive personal calls. It’s also a pain to give out my home number, get a voicemail (which immediately prompts an email message) and then call whomever back. Plus, professionally it makes me look like a freak. You can totally be a kook if you’re a librarian (you don’t get paid shit and no one respects you anyway) but if you’re a supposed reporter (which I was supposed to be today) publicists think you’re retarded without a cell phone. Like this morning, one insisted on getting a cell number from me even though I said I’d be reachable from my home number until 4pm. I don’t understand why a cell would be considered more reliable than a land line. I get the feeling that people think you’re lying when you say you don’t have one, like you’re suspiciously withholding information.

The only upside, if I go this dreaded route, is that new calling plan buyers are totally coveted and you can practically get any phone you want for free or next to nothing. I’m kind of down on all the thin, slick candy bar type styles that are everywhere and I don’t need a multitasking pda device (I would go for the Blackberry Pearl but I’m not about to pay for the monthly service—that’s the kind of gadget you get when you have the kind of job that actually pays for things. I don’t even have tape, pens, paper or push pins, let alone a company email address, in my current set up). I’m thinking about this Motorola Pebl, which probably only appeals since it’s green and curvy and I guess I like green curvy things. But by the time I actually give in and make a decision there will be thousands of new choices on the market. I don’t know if I’m there yet.

Drawing from Obsessive Consumption, a site I just  stumbled upon that doesn't bore or annoy me.

2 thoughts on “Back in Black (no thanks to The Gap or Audrey Hepburn)

  1. think young! get rid of your land line – go with a nice simple phone – it will be your new alarm clock, emergency link and datebook reminder – plus all your friends and peeps right there, all the time! I LOVE my cell, and at only 39.00 and taxes each month, I’m saving huge $$$ over my old land line. Plus you can text message any cool people you happen to know!

    TIP: Ask customer service how to check your used-up minutes as the month goes by or else be prepared for an ugly surprise at some point! :^(

    Also, it takes a little while to get over not having to run to the machine and check in when you get home… :^)

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