While You Were Sleeping

It seems like every commercial break I’m taunted by that mushy diamond commercial, "Sleeping Beauty" where they guy stealthily places a gleaming pendant on his wife’s chest as she sleeps. The imagery is more than enough to sicken me, but it’s Cat Power doing Cat Stevens’s “How Can I Tell You” that torments me. That breathy little ditty won’t get out of my head. (James insists that the hokey, vaguely Italian [or French? I can’t tell what it is] background music used during Best Recipes in the World vignettes stays with him a day after viewing an episode, which I don’t get at all. I can’t even remember it now and I’m intentionally trying to conjure it up.)

I’ve amused myself by thinking of all the other things you could quietly place on your sleeping wife’s chest (no, no, not what you’re thinking) that would elicit equally strong reactions. I have no idea why, but a slice of pizza is what cracks me up the most. I’d much rather wake up to a nice, thin, perfectly charred, buffalo mozzarella and basil topped triangle than a diamond necklace.

2 thoughts on “While You Were Sleeping

  1. I’d settle for a really good, saucy “Buffalo Wing”. There was a hole-in-the-wall place at our local mall called Frogg Lane that made the best ones I ever had. They had a contest on Thursday nights –whoever could eat 10 of the fiery things got a free order and round of drinks (no, I never tried)…

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