Would You Rather

When I read results of “would you rather” polls, I usually have an extreme reaction one way or the other. I’m a black and white person and one choice just seems obviously better. (Fox 5 had one the other night where the majority chose mind reading as the best ability, which is lame—do they not watch Fringe? Teleporting, number four, seemed the best to me and better than number two, being able to fly. Why would you fly if you could just instantly be somewhere? I value time over physical activity even if it’s joyous and magical, plus I’m afraid of heights. I’ve thought many a time about how being able to beam to Singapore for lunch, then say, San Sebastian for dinner, would be the most awesome thing in the universe) For me, money generally trumps vanity, so I guess I could agree with the 73% of US women who “would rather win $20,000 than lose 20 pounds,” according to a Better Homes and Gardens survey. But instantly losing 20 pounds while still eating crap would be cool, wouldn’t it? Maybe I’m just getting flabbier and more financially secure with age.

Meanwhile, Thermador found 61% of Canadian women are more turned on by a guy’s “beautiful kitchen” than a “romantic bedroom” (38%) or “flashy garage” (1%).  This only leaves the question of what American women think of men and their sexy kitchens.

It’s probably safer to cook in a bachelor pad, considering how e coli-riddled single women’s home are. A Clorox study discovered that “More than twice the number of bachelorette front doorknobs were contaminated with bacteria – including fecal bacteria – as compared to bachelor doorknobs.” If you’ve ever seen a bathroom in a female-dominated office, this would not surprise you (I was traumatized two jobs ago—scroll down a bit).

More importantly, Spokane, Washington has been crowned Jim Beam’s Boldest Town in America. Sadly, this does not translate to smearing feces all over the home and office, though it does have a little to do with shitting where one eats. Nine percent have dated their boss. So bold! Also, nearly half have tattoos, 26% arm-wrestle strangers and 59% have called in sick when they weren’t. Heavens. Nationally, 25% of men have a piercing and 16% of them didn’t pierce their ear (wink, wink?). Thankfully, none of the boldest live in NYC.

Jim Beam's Top 25 Boldest Towns

1.   Spokane, WA
2.   Savannah, GA
3.   Las Vegas, NV
4.   Fort Smith, AR
5.   Waco, TX
6.   Harlingen, TX
7.   Los Angeles, CA
8.   Charleston, WV
9.   Birmingham, AL
10. Charleston, SC
11.  Washington, DC
12.  Fort Myers, FL
13.  Denver, CO
14.  Wichita, KS
15.  Davenport, IA
16.  Portland, OR
17.  Fresno, CA
18.  Portland, ME
19.  Chicago, IL
20.  New Orleans, LA
21.  Springfield, MO
22.  Atlanta, GA
23.  Orlando, FL
24.  South Bend, IN
25.  Pensacola, FL