House of Horrors

I assumed The Awl’s headling “The Horrific Horror of Brooklyn” referred to a not-wholly-about-Brooklyn real estate article I read in the Times last night, but they were referring to the other horrific horror (face it, the horrific horrors are endless) about twee artisans in a different NYC-focused publication.

Back to my original horror:

Many of the offers were above the $1.875 million list price. Ms. Blackman sat down with the owners, James and Ann Raimes, and went through each one, beginning with the lowest bid. She started reading heartfelt letters from prospective buyers explaining why the house was ideal for their young families. "But I burst into tears at one point and told her to not read any more," Ann Raimes said.

Being pregnant, simply wanting something badly enough or having $2 million in cash is not sufficient to obtain a home in brownstone Brooklyn. No, you must pen a literal sob story explaining why a seller should provide shelter for your desperate family–and take your over-ask bid.

And this is why I’d rather go homeless…or move to NJ.