It is no secret that I'm a makeup hoarder. And though
it wouldn't seem so if you saw the pile of crap I moved, I actually
unsentimentalized myself and threw out quite a bit, if only to set a good
example for others in the household. (Did I mention that James spazzed when he
realized I'd thrown out an adobo seasoning that I thought it was a million years
old and never-used? He then went through the trash and salvaged a bunch of
other ancient spices that I'm slowly re-throwing back out.)
Even still, I have way more makeup than I wear on a
regular basis, and what amused me most when sifting through it was how very
'90s much of it was. So many matte shades of wine and brown with names like
Plumscape, Midnight Wine, Ranch Mink. After I took this pic, I found brown lip
liner and more eyeshadows in the same color family.
I threw out anything that had no meaning to me and
justified keeping oldies with stories, no matter how minute and unimportant, in
a newly purchased plastic tub (I've gone nuts buying plastic tubs from
Container Store in person, then online from Walmart). I will tell these stories
one post at a time. Maybe then I'll toss them out.
First up is Almay Stone, a nail polish I've talked
about before (I knew I had, but this was reinforce when I Google image searched
the brand because I didn't want to unnecessarily take a photo and one of the
first hits was this blog).
Bought in 1998, it predates the greige trend that
took over a few years ago. Weird colored makeup in rainbow brights and sludge
tones like this one have been in for a while, but they weren't in the '90s (see
browns, wines above) so this color was slightly odd yet still conservative. I
believed it would be the right sort of shade to land a professional job. Except
that I didn't understand publishing at all (not that I do now) and had no concept of interview-approriate attire
This nail polish in no way helped land an online editorial job at Paper because I wore a sweaterdress twinset thing
from Lerner (now New York and Company) and dowdy shoes. I didn't think you were
supposed to dress casually or coolyl even if it was for a "downtown" type magazine.
I was wrong and the interviewer who wrote nightlifey stuff (she used
"hipster" back in '97) and seemed all-knowing couldn't be more unimpressed
with me. (I like to be unsympathetic to underemployed millennials, but I will
concede that even with a no name BFA and no internships, I did manage to land
interviews at major publications and websites, which I guess just doesn't
happen now–of course, I never got call backs either and ended up working at a parenting site.) She is now a CMO of a
major book publishing house, which is prestigious, sure, but I
wouldn't exactly call it fabulous.
Stone reminds me of the phrase, fake it till you
make it, which I think is supposed to mean that you should act successful and
then you will become successful? Is that like The Secret? I like to believe
that fake it till you make is cautionary and that pretending to be what you
aren't will end up backfiring because success will come at the expense
of obfuscating your true self. Says the unsuccessful person.