Frozen in Time

So many non-problems. My bookshelf is a snapshot of
the '90s because I used to buy books, mostly used, in the '90s, and quite often. And now when I
read books, occasionally, I either use my Kindle or put a hold at the library,
so that shelf will remain frozen in time. (James' books are all clearly
undergraduate required reading and textbooks, also '90s, and parental gift
coffee table books on topics like locomotives or war planes or Czech
architecture, subjects he's never indicated an interest in.) Maybe I only care
because these shelves were not cheap and now they are filled with dated
hodgepodge. Part of me would love to let go of objects and be all minimal and zen.

One of the security guards at my college, we were
all chummy with the security guards (except for the weird angry guy with a long
braided tail who was maybe more of a janitor) because working the desk at an art school and museum was like working at a
bookstore or a library. Everyone was a little unstable, and this guy
who I last heard about 5+ years ago had been hit by a car and maybe was living
with his mom, was all into only having a minimal amount of books in his house. Not that wanting few posessions means you're automatically unstable. He said
he'd read one and then get rid of it. This was unfathomable to me at the time, as was the observation of another security guard who also worked at the library (double whammy) that I'd get sick of staying out late and drinking too much when I got to be his age (these guys were all in their 30s) which hasn't completely happened, at least not the degree that I observe among 30-somethings I see on social media who act like they're 80. I can't really tear it up more than once a week.

I can't part with what I have, but going forward the
dilemma  is what to purchase vs check out. Sometimes I'll download
something on a whim like My Struggle: Book One that I bought last week. I think
over the past year I'd seen enough mentions to make me believe it must be worth
reading. I've not started it yet. Complete Idiot's Guide to Writing Nonfiction had to be a Kindle download because who could have that on their bookshelf or even be seen walking around with it? I downloaded Miranda July's It Chooses You,
which was dumb because it's full of color photos and I have the basic black and
white reader. I really liked it, by the way, even though she has a personality
foreign to me, one of those types who can't eat when they're stressed and hates drinking. Oh, I read The Middlesteins, Kindle-wise, in Budapest, because
it's been hyped to death and I was kind of fascinated how the author who I feel
like I should know in a roundabout way, made Hairpin commenters upset. I did think it was depressing that
she said she doesn't keep any food in her apartment to keep herself from eating it (says
the person who just ate gross leftover Chinese food just because it was in the
fridge).

And now being end of year, the best of lists are
coming fast furious–this one is good. Reneta Adler's Speedboat is one I'll have to put on hold
(someone has the only copy in the Brooklyn Public Library system checked-out,
probably because it's been mentioned recently more than once by a Paris Review writer) because
it's not on Kindle and it's crazy expensive and out of print. Denis Johnson's
Train Dreams will have to be the library too because I can't justify paying
$9.99 for a novella that's 128 pages long.

But what about the others I'm not sure about:
Caitlin Moran's How to Be a Woman, which I'm sure is funny, but do I need it
permanently in my life, Leaving the Atocha Station, which sounds annoying so I
don't want to pay for it, A Working Theory of Love, which doesn't sound like
something I'd like, Beyond the Beautiful Forevers, which had a compelling
excerpt in The New Yorker (which I still can't fully get behind but will read
via Longreads) and I may go to Mumbai next year (we'll see) so there's that
angle. I probably won't hang out much in slums, though.

Maybe the deciding factor would be whether you would
want to read the book again later. Frankly, I never do  (I'm not talking about cookbooks or visual
non-fiction–Burma: Rivers of Flavor and La Gran Cocina Latina are on my Christmas list) which leads me to think the library is the winner in most cases. Except
that I'm lazy, almost lazy enough to pay $10 to instantly have the text in my
possession rather than find and become acquainted with the Clinton Hill
library. I'm going to go survey the scene tomorrow, though typically I find
Brooklyn libraries to be kind of downers.

 

31 thoughts on “Frozen in Time

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