It would not be an Orange is the New Black spoiler to say that I'm a Lorna, now that we know her back story. Frighteningly so. Yet it's also reassuring–and bizarrely invigorating–to discover that stalking is very much still in my blood, and that it's so much easier and dangerous now that such a glut of information is readily available online. I'd assumed I'd grown out of it. I wish I could tell you more because I love being an open book/heart on the sleever to online strangers, but one, I don't want to scare off any potential suitors (must be ok with stalking should be a prerequisite!) and two…I guess there is no two. Realistically, it's wishful thinking that anyone would end up here trying to discern what I think of them, because that would require someone to actually take interest, dig up dirt and follow through. Let's just say that if you message me a handful of times, only revealing your first name and scant bits of personal information, then flake on real world plans and stop responding, that I just might find where you live (and how much your mortgage is–hey, I'm in the process of getting financing myself, so I'm curious–totally innocent, right?) what your wife and children look like (you know, in case I feel the urge to hold them hostage at some point), how you sound when speaking authoritatively on a specialized topic, where you work and then speculate as to whether two things mentioned in a piece of your writing that appeared in an online publication of note the same week that you saw those two things in my online dating profile are coincidental or not. Hypothetically, of course, to all of this. Seriously hypothetical. So, who wants to get stalked next?
