Maragaret Cho telling The New York Times that she doesn’t always get her period anymore at 46 made me laugh. This is the new Gen X humor. Because I don’t follow Margaret Cho I didn’t even know she had been pregnant or was trying. My period is still going strong. Thanks for asking. So much so that I have to practically wear a diaper to bed (I accidentally bought overnight maxipads in Bangkok over my 40th birthday and now purchase them on purpose) and still ruined a new set of white sheets and today at work it unexpectedly arrived so quickly I nearly had a public mishap the likes I haven’t seen since middle school. And yet, I have such a variety of maxi pads, made more apparent because I have no bathroom closet or cabinet to store them in this apartment so they sit along with the nail polish removers I had to buy doubles of to get free shipping, old gauze from past injuries and barely used packs of dental floss, that sometimes I wonder if they’ll outlast my ability to menstruate. (I was scolded at my dentist appointment that I finally made it to after rescheduling five times but barely and 15 minutes late because even though I now allow myself 50 minutes minimum for any task below 14th street, I am still frequently late through no fault of my own. Today it was an emergency brake being pulled while entering Union Square. The scolding was about flossing, not punctuality, same as since I’ve possessed adult teeth.) I also wonder if this is a last gasp thing or just a return to the same messy natural order I experienced before starting birth control pills in my teens that made having periods very low key for the next two decades. After a three-year-break, I’m kind of tired of this nonsense and at the same time am increasingly aware that this nonsense could stop at any point. I also wonder that if someone has never taken a shining to tampons by middle age that they probably never will. It’s one of those things that I assumed I would grow into and am now too old for it to ever happen or even matter like flossing or yoga or riding a bike in urban settings.

8 thoughts on “Padding

  1. I don’t know what I would have done without Always Infinity pads the past 7 years or so. Super absorbent. My period during that time was crazy heavy, but weirdly no cramping. I stocked up every time Always were on sale, had coupons, or both. Last year it suddenly stopped and I didn’t miss it. None of the menopausal crazy stuff has started, no wild mood swings, hot flashes, or crying. Mom had a bad time with that and I am dreading it. My friend’s church collects stuff for a women’s homeless shelter so I offloaded the Always and Playtex tampons there. (Tampax are uncomfortable, I have no idea why they are still in business.)

    Anyway it just started again and I had to rummage for a pad last night, Happy Spring!
    It feels like an old wives tale that seasons affect it but I can’t help thinking it.

    Learn to love flossing, that’s what I get chided for at the dentist too. When you get old and have to take blood thinners you can’t floss without bleeding or go to the dentist without the cardiologist’s ok.

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