It’s been brought to my attention (by my own brain–this is where I’d type LOL if I were feeling sarcastic but I’m not) that I’ve overshared, if only in vagaries, a little too much lately (don’t worry, there’s more where that came from). So…here are two very mundane yet mildly worrisome facts I’ve recently discovered about my eyes (not my vision–it’s fine, totally 20/20, no glasses).

1.) Yesterday, I noticed a silver hair in my left eyebrow. I couldn’t even tell you the first gray I discovered on my head but it probably happened somewhere in the mid-’90s. I fear this is the beginning of the end because we all know what happens next. Going to have to reevaluate my anti-waxing stance (that I already loosened up on twice this year).

2.) For at least a month, the eyelashes on my right eye have looked flat and smashed like I slept weirdly, and maybe I have, but this appears to be how they are now permanently. I’ve never used eyelash curlers and have never worn heavy mascara during the day because I thought I had naturally full, well-shaped lashes. No more. When I spoke to my mom on the phone on Thanksgiving she mentioned thinning hair (my drain is constantly clogged [my ex-boyfriend used to complain about how my hair was always everywhere and I never cared because I wasn’t the one cleaning it up but now I’m seeing the validity of that lament] and yet I still have tons of hair, so I’m not worried about that yet). Are dull, lifeless eyelashes the gateway to female baldness?

Ok, thanks for indulging me.