The night before last I dreamt that Crispin Glover was my boyfriend. I have never had any particular attraction to him in real life or given him any thought in over a decade. I can’t recall a single action or bit of dialogue from this dream. All I know is that there was nothing sexual about it (though I did have a random dream last month that I’d had sex with Top Chef brother Michael Voltaggio, who I wasn’t fond of, but thinking he was Bryan, who I’m neutral on. Why either of them?) I just woke up with a vague happy, romantic feeling…because I was in love with Crispin Glover?