Normally, I wear orangey-brown eye shadow colors but knew I had some hidden away in a plastic caddy. This L'Oreal quad of Couleurs Goldrust is old, but whatever. (More whatever, this woman, whose favorite eyeshadow is this very set. Oh, I just realized this isn't a genetic female after fixating on their shoulder to hip ratio. This is a thing I have been fixated on for some time and always hits me at the gym. I always assumed that women were equally divided into more shoulder than hip and more hip than shoulder even though an hourglass is ideal, but when I’m trying to zone out and run on a treadmill I can’t and end up focusing on all of the backsides in front of me and have been struck by how 90% of women have broader shoulders than hips. Even my skeleton is a pear. If I lost half my body weight I would still be bottom heavy, bone structure not flesh. I dwell on whether this is unique to women who run, women who live in Carroll Gardens or if a majority of women really do have more shoulder than hip. It bothers me. Even if I were surgery-minded, which I am not, I don’t think there is a procedure that can shave bone off your pelvis and add more to your shoulders. I have thought that I might be willing to pay up to $20,000 for one more inch of height if that were something that could be done as if being 5'9" would change my life but I draw the line at pelvis whittling.) I have makeup that I moved with me in ’98 that I still wear and it’s never killed me. I can never believe those alarmest magazine stories about replacing mascara, foundation and everything else like every four months. I don't think spices should be kept for an eternity (I'll never be able to use the three bottles of sage that somehow have accumulated in the apt) but I’m more concerned with food hygiene than skin hygiene.
Then I got to thinking just how old this L'Oreal set really was and I did get scared. Like I said, I rarely wear these shades. I’m 99% certain this was my sister’s eye shadow. Why I have it who knows. But I can’t picture her wearing make up post-‘90s (not sure if you read this, but chime in if you do) which could easily make this quartet 20 years old.
Now, I'm starting to feel my eyelids burning and itching…
And thinking of older not necessarily better, I was just remembering how when I was 24 I had a 16-year-old penpal and thought I was very old and mature (he'd never heard of Wham! and now that kid is 30). In my mid-40s will I look back on to today with fondness at my naivete? I say yes. Therefore, I should cling to and revel in my 30-something ineptness now. That feeling that you are mature and knowledgeable when you still have ten more years before you can understand what happened a decade previously is what I am now dubbing goldrusted. We are all in a constant state of goldrusting.