For the love of god, please make me stop watching Secretly Pregnant. Something about these do-nothing holidays always drags me into a marathon of a previously unknown-to-me cable show. I forced myself to turn off the second episode in a row of Mall Cops: Mall of America, but not before they arrested a Russian man who stole a bottle of wine from a liquor store (they have liquor stores in malls in Minnesota?) sat down at restaurant and drank the whole thing, then got belligerent and while being arrested kept telling the cops he was going to poop, using the word poop and then totally shit his pants, prompting the narration, “It really had become black Friday for the officer charged with cleaning up this customer.”
Back to unexpected babies, where I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant is humorous (literally pooping babies into toilets? C’mon) Secretly Pregnant is depressing because if a woman is scared to death to tell friends or family she’s pregnant (and the ages range from 20-42 in the four episodes I’ve seen so it’s not a problem only for the young and inexperienced) then it’s probably because she has a horrible relationship with either them and in every case the woman can’t afford a child, many already have one or two, are either fighting with the husband/boyfriend or have already broken up with him. Most have crappy jobs or no job and are living with a parent or grandparent or in a motel. Why on earth are they having (more) children? It’s almost enough to make me want to watch Say Yes to the Dress: Big Bliss, a less serious breed of depressing.
Anyway, I meant to briefly talk about Melanie Lynskey. Ok, I didn’t know that was her name either, I always forget it. She randomly shows up on TV shows and movies like the not-that-great Helena From the Wedding on IFC the other night that I stayed up watching well past my self-imposed 1am weeknight bedtime. I always think she’s someone else and that she’s chubby even though she completely is not (she had an underwear scene in that movie and was very much a toned medium-sized woman) and I can’t help but think how she must feel about Kate Winslet’s career path (who I never ever think looks chubby despite tabloids calling her fat). I always associate Lynskey with Heavenly Creatures when neither actress was well-known.
I guess being a regular on Two and a Half Men, as a stalker, no less, would be considered plum by many actors who get the occasional gig on Law & Order or The Mentalist, and she does have five 2011 IMDB listings.
Who is Melanie Lynskie? She follows Kurt Loder, Cinnamon Snail, the Hoboken vegan food truck, Asia Argento, Mary Lynn Rajskub, Morrissey, and Oprah, among 377 others. Twitter is rich profiling tool.