Yes, all too well. But thanks for asking, Container Store.
Sure, in the scheme of things kvetching about brand
new modern appliances is mildly monstrous when clean water and electricity are
as good as it gets for many. But this is what I do when I have countless more
important things to get done. Deadlines are looming so it's time for procrastination complaining.
First, the positive. I will say that an in-apartment
washer and dryer is the awesomest amenity, no question. Can being thankful for
a washer and dryer count as a daily affirmation? (I'm not even sure what a
daily affirmation is exactly, and I'm not going to look it up.) While my
natural inclination is to go cheap and hovel-y, I just couldn't come around to
the idea of a laundromat life again. There is little more depressing to me than
dragging a garbage bag full of dirty clothes down the street (and I'm scarred
because when I last had to do this, the nearest laundromat was far enough away
that I'd have to take a bus). I can't do it and I'll now pay not to. However, I
never have and never will pay for drop off laundry, which is probably less
expensive than paying the premium rent for a private washer and dryer.
A dishwasher, on the other hand, is the most useless
supposed perk ever, though it's the one that seems to impress New Yorkers. If
you live alone there's no point. Even in the condo with two, we rarely ran the
dishwasher. I can't possibly dirty enough dishes to justify running it so I
intentionally use a lot of plates and silverware to try and fill it up weekly.
But after a week of things sitting in the machine, everything has crusted-on
and I end up having to hand-wash again. You must be feeling bad for me now.
The dishwasher was just diversion. It's this refrigerator, a
plastic-paneled LG made to resemble stainless steel, that's driving me fucking
batty since it's the most egregiously disproportioned thing ever. The freezer
drawers (three) are nearly equal to the upper refrigerator space, which is
woefully inadequate for anyone who buys groceries and cooks. I know that's an
unpopular past time in NYC, and it's better than some French mini-fridge, but
even if I were a fresh-obsessed daily shopper there are still times when
prepping for a crowd is important. I'm probably just going through culture shock because I had two (very non-fancy but practical) fridges for eight years in Carroll Gardens and the condo fridge can hold maybe three times this much food.
I nearly lost my mind trying to figure out where to
fit an 8lb fresh ham needing four days of brining for Easter. Ultimately, I had
to remove a shelf, eat a shitload of leftovers for dinner and assess everything
for throw-out potential (all was essential). I can't possibly eat the whole bag
of clementines (I refuse to call the overpriced easy-to-peel fruit Cuties
because the Cuties are for kids commercials make me want to die even if in
theory I'm on board with kids snacking on fruit instead of junk). I then spent 45 minutes pulling all the kale and collard greens from their stems and shredding them to compress the girth of their plastic bags.
I had planned to pick up a dessert today or tomorrow,
but that now seems like a practical impossibility unless it's something that won't
deteriorate on the counter (of which I have an excess of space–the kitchen is quite spacious for a one-bedroom apartment, which is why the lame dwarf fridge is so frustrating) so I apologize
to everyone expecting some cake or pie. I don't think it's going to happen.