Face It

Recently, I was thinking about words we'll eventually lose
like retarded to describe something stupid. I have a hard time letting retarded
go, even if that reeks of hipster ableism (I'm still not 100% clear on what
hipster racism is but I think this must be like that). Maybe if I get old enough
I'll get a pass like when seniors say negroes or orientals (though it recently
changed names, to much local consternation, I'm surprised that Chink's in
Philadelphia
kept that name as long as it did). 
A friend said retarded recently and I thought, oh, she still uses that?
And then I was relieved.

And then I began hearing it more and more in the wild. Last night a 28-year-old
that took a shining to my mature crew (and thought we were his age–the beauty
of dark, night time event?) at a Bushwick rooftop party used retarded to describe
Seattle, Norway and the rotting fish dish from Norway that he couldn't remember
the name of (rakfisk, I now see).

All of this is just a lead in to how like retarded,
so-called bodysnarking is also off limits like you can't be feminist and make
fun of or criticize women's looks. Yes, we are all beautiful. Perhaps facesnarking is less harmful.  Let me indulge.

Lintz-Dome

I'm very bothered by how the teenage girl who has two moms,
one who is Samantha Mathis (so far from Pump up the Volume) on Under the Dome
has so many forehead lines already (also in her own Vine videos). I'm concerned
(yes, concern trolling, as the kids say) for her skin. It took me until my late
30s to develop those and mine are still less prominent than hers at 17.  Genetics, sometimes they are on your side. (And only partially. I've always had good skin, but only on my face. I've had cellulite as long as I can remember and it's only getting worse, to the point where I can't wear a bathing suit in public, I don't think. And cellulite isn't even about fat; I've seen so many dimpled thin women and I marvel at the fatkini girls whose thighs look totally rock solid.) The fact that her age isn't listed on IMDB
makes me even more suspicious.

Lafevre

The other redhead on the show is literally (why is there such a backlash against using literally?) twice her age and has a
smoother forehead.

Newsroom

I can't watch The Newsroom, mostly because it's not a show I
enjoy watching (though I do find John Gallagher Jr. inexplicably attractive,
but only when he's clean-shaven. It's something about the way his teeth sit in his mouth. Christian Bale also has it.) but also because there's something very
off-putting about the young incompetent girl's face.  It's sort of like she has cancer and or is
possibly albino or maybe just needs a little eyebrow pencil (sometimes her eyes even remind me of the blind guy, Eddie, from Jeopardy). She really doesn't
look well (more concern trolling). Ok, and now I can't find a photo that represents any of that, so clearly my perception is biased.

Also, despite not being very into babies (or puppies) I will
concede that I get why others find them cute. There are a lot of kid pics in my
Facebook feed lately. Most are benign. Yet there is one toddler who is so  non-cute that I always have to scroll extra fast to get away from the
offending pics (which are all of them, not just a few bad angles). And now
anyone who reads this blog and is a Facebook friend with a small child
(probably zero people) will think that I'm calling their baby ugly.

Update: So, I just watched another episode of Under the Dome and dug through more photos of Alison Pill, then came to a shocking conclusion: the aforementioned sour-faced toddler kind of resembles both of them. I guess it's conceivable that if something minor like teeth and jaws can be appealling, coloring and eyebrows can be repellent.

Photos: Mockingjay.net, Wired Italy,

 

 

 

62 thoughts on “Face It

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