Shop Till You Drop Off the Face of the Earth

 Oh my, I think I’ve seen my future. A mute, unidentifiable elderly woman with Alzheimer’s was found wandering around the Woodbridge Center mall in 1994 and had been institutionalized as a Jane Doe ever since.

They do have a Chick-fil-A, Five Guys Burger, Popeye’s and a Friendly’s. I was last there returning a matronly Land’s End swimsuit to Sears. It’s really only a matter of time before my memory fades and I become a captive of a New Jersey mall.

I guess on the upside the mystery woman was finally ID’d, but how depressing that her daughter had been living in Brooklyn the whole time. I’m always surprised by pro-procreators who use you’ll be happy you had children when you’re elderly argument. 

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