Tuxedo Harem Rompers for All

For reasons unknown to me, I just received a Free People catalog in the mail. The only item of clothing I’ve ever owned from Free People was an unflattering, stretchy knit, long scoopneck dress patterned in thin orange, brown and chartreuse horizontal stripes that I bought on sale at Urban Outfitters the first time I came to New York in ’94. (I was too body conscious to wear it as is and recall one night while working at a movie theater that wore it covered by an oversized skater t-shirt with a cartoon devil  and some guy with a mohair sweater and chain wallet telling me he liked my shirt and I obsessed all night over how to get his attention again but he left with a girl.) I also had to pee really bad, couldn’t find any public restrooms, Urban Outfitters was no help when I asked, and literally held it for hours until I met up with a friend at Cooper Union. I suppose we now have Starbucks for that (fyi, there was only one Starbucks in the city, Upper West Side, in '94)

I realize the harem/hammer pants revival isn’t exactly new, but no matter how many times I see young models in these droopy drawers I am no less desensitized (as did happen with leggings, sadly—I just wore a pair the other day but am still opposed to them standing in for pants and will never warm to stretch lamé). Maybe this is just what free people wear and I am shackled.