Dream Date
The night before last I dreamt that Crispin Glover was my boyfriend. I have never had any particular attraction to him in real life or given him any thought in over a decade. I can’t […]
Class of 1990
Because I’m kind of slow, it just occurred to me that my 20th high school will take place this year. And here I am wondering why I have so much gray hair. Because I’m really […]
Look Ma, No Eyebrows
No, I’m not going to make fun of sick children. I see a subway ad with an enlarged version of this photo every single day and I can’t figure out why the mom has no […]
Quit Beautifying My Streets, I’m Trying to Sleep
Yesterday I was awoken at 7 o’something to a chorus of jackhammers, whirring of industrial sawblades, my floor and bed shaking. My alarm does not go off until 8:25am and I do not get out […]
All Searches Lead to Malaysia
Even though my big planned Thailand vacation from a little over a year ago was a bust, I thought it would eventually be rectified. If things go as planned I’ll be getting to both Thailand […]
Annual Trip to the Photo Booth
Proving the recent New York Times article true (yes, Manhattan post offices are a million times less soul-crushing than Brooklyn ones), while my December 22 wait at the Whitehall post office was over 30 minutes […]
New Model, Same as the Old Model
Taking issue with The New York Times' style section is futile work but it has been a long holiday weekend (I do have to return to work tomorrow to a possibly empty office because I’m […]
For Now, I’ll Stick With Moon Boots
Though those spiked heel over-the-knee skank boots that even the willowy can’t pull off without looking trashy and are loved by the same women who think tights are pants might be the shoe of the […]
Frankly, I Would Be More Interested in a Descendant of Joyce DeWitt
So, if you make it into The New York Times’ Vows (with an impressive eight months between meeting and marrying) and you’re the rare breed lacking an Ivy League education or philanthropist parents (the bride’s […]
Keyed Up
These kitty key covers are practically the cutest thing I’ve seen in my life. I don't even know why keys need to be covered but who cares. Instead of buying Christmas presents for others (though […]