Spoiler Alert: Were You Really Going to See “Dear John?”
I got a little riled up with all this young Hollywood/burn outs chatter and had to peek at Henry Thomas’ IMDB listing. What the fuck? He’s in Dear John. I guess you take what you […]
50 to Life
It's a shame that men have begun to be called out over their lumpen physiques because it gives me fewer unrealistic onscreen hot girl/fat dude pairings to talk about. Thankfully, old dudes won't stop procreating. […]
Faded Beauty
Who is that oddly compelling man in the small photo on The New York Times’ homepage teasing a theater section story? Furrowed brow, scrubbed, pinkish. Hello, troubled, broken and handsome. Stupid, I don’t care who […]
Some Things Just Don’t Belong On Twitter
I just realized I haven't taken a dump in like a week, at least five days. This can't be the result of a healthy metabolism. No, I don't eat much fruit but don't cabbage, green […]
Stroller Derby
Two weekends ago, there were FIVE strollers against the wall in front of my door, apparently the result of a baby (or rather toddler since there was an amazing ruckus, clearly from running and jumping […]
I’ll Throw A Baby Shower Just So I Can Make Grasshopper Pie
I shouldn’t have spoken so soon about the bleakness of a 20th reunion. Today I found a postcard addressed to James (with a D. middle initial instead of his F.) opening with the salutation, “Class […]
Ten Percent
Sometimes I feel very New York. Or maybe I just mean impatient. Thursday, for no reason whatsoever I was getting steamed while steamrolling pedestrians on my walk from subway to office thinking about how Portlanders […]
When Gay & Retarded Had No Consequences
Searching for footage of Rascal scooters in malls, I was saddened not enlightened by Sam’s Club and white dudes saying nigga and mullets on YouTube. I was, however, reminded of Blair (not to be confused […]
The Shoes You Choose
Last week I was convinced that I had officially become an Office Lady after buying two sweaters on sale at Ann Taylor Loft during my lunchbreak. Bu really I think I’ve already crept in AARP […]
Overheated
Living heat-free by choice is the latest trend! At least with the handful of masochists The New York Times was able to scout out around the county. I’m still not convinced and throw it in […]