Mall Tease
Do you know what’s annoying? Decommissioning all three New Jersey Uniqlo locations to focus on Manhattan. Yesterday, I was very upset (Ok, just mildly—James is more into Uniqlo than I am) to see that the […]
Marrying Down
I could’ve added Jeff Garlin in I Want Someone to Eat Cheese With to the no fat dudes category, but see, I’m full of restraint. Who says wisdom doesn’t come with age? But there’s something […]
New Joy
I’ve been known to torment friends with film. In college I was convinced that The Disorderly Orderly was pure genius (not to be confused with Disorderlies). Then I went through a Mrs. Doubtfire phase. Norbit […]
Nailed It
1. It is not cold outside. No one should be complaining about how cold they are when it’s 78 degrees unless you were born on the equator or in the earth's magma. 2. Why didn’t […]
Gives New Meaning to the Dog Days of Summer
I didn’t think it was possible for anything involving tiny kittens to be uncute (well, using baby felines as dog fighting bait kind of qualifies) but a miniscule tabby nursing on a compliant rottweiler ranks […]
I Love the ’50s
Yesterday, I was filled with an unusual amount of vim and vigor. For a few fleeting seconds, bursts of hopefulness replaced my usual despondency. What gives? The weather, oddly enough. It must be the quarter […]
While You Were Sleeping
It seems like every commercial break I’m taunted by that mushy diamond commercial, "Sleeping Beauty" where they guy stealthily places a gleaming pendant on his wife’s chest as she sleeps. The imagery is more than […]
Drug Commercials Should be Seen, Not Heard
Yes, I spent two and a half hours, tried four different subway routes and trudged 30 minutes until my face looked like a shiny wet tomato, all to just end up going back home (after […]
There’s a Fine Line Between Hideous and Hot
I can’t decide if this bed is hideous or awesome. The exaggerated foliage motif is kind of grotesque, I think I’m just blinded by the shiny olive green color (I like my food blue, but […]
Out with a Bang
I didn’t realize bangs were such a big deal. Yesterday I noticed bangs being equated with hipsters on Eat for Victory and that baffled me. I also didn’t realize that Asian=hipster, not that I completely […]